I use the pronoun his because more women are diagnosed with BPD; men instead earn the label antisocial much easier.Interesting enough, it is frequently the healthier mate seeking therapy to relieve himself from the immense relational pressures.Often the individual with BPD threatens self-harm or cuts to release tension.She will relentlessly reach out and obsessively try to reestablish the broken bond if the healthy mate decides to break up with her.Jodi Arias – in my opinion, – a good example of a woman with quiet BPD (she functions superficially well but her chameleon-like façade breaks open once her relational views are challenged) murdered her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander; Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction attempted to murder her former lover but failed and found her own death.Most real-life relationships with a partner who has BPD are not deadly.The individual with BPD does not have an inner center; she does not know who she is.She tries to gauge her self-image at any given situation by interpreting the expressions of others (kind of the blind leading the blind giving her over-sensibility). Hopefully, this evokes some compassion – imagine how scary when you are just drifting at the mercy of what you believe others may do or think.
There is no middle ground when standing at the borderline.
Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.
This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.
Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered.
Notoriously famous personality disorders discussed in films, courts, and domestic disputes are all part of the dramatic-erratic cluster: The Narcissist, The Antisocial, The Individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or a combination of two: Antisocial Narcissistic and/or Borderline Narcissistic.